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Pen Your Pride
In Pursuit of a Diamond [On Hold]

In Pursuit of a Diamond [On Hold]

15.5K Reads 563 Votes 20 Part Story
Rachel By Rachel24601 Updated Mar 14, 2011

When Leslie Hawkins meets a young sorcerer, Aubrey Sommerfeld, on a plane trip, she finds herself thrust into the middle of a magical war: the rebellious and power-hungry, and those trying desperately to quell their Movement. And things become dangerous when she discovers that Aubrey has in his possession a weapon that could decide outcome of the war, and either side will do whatever is necessary to get it from him.
I'd like some feedback.  Vote, comment, let me know what you think!

WishingStar97 WishingStar97 Jun 25, 2011
Very interesting beginning! Definitely managed to pique my interest. Good job :)
aleatoire aleatoire Jun 17, 2011
You have great detail and description. It's really keeps the tension. It's good. You should keep writing :)
stephlouise2k9 stephlouise2k9 Jun 15, 2011
This chapter was amazing It was so detailed and well written that it made me interested from the first paragraph :) It's really good plus I love fantasy stories!!!
xxPaybacksabitchxx xxPaybacksabitchxx Jun 11, 2011
I don't usually read these kind of stories but it's definitely good! :) You're good at writing details and your grammar is good too. Keep up the good work! 
walkingsunshine walkingsunshine Jun 07, 2011
I love how ou write, your sentances flow beautifuly. Keep up the good work! I really like the plot, too. Very origional.  Voted! :)
GreatPyrenees GreatPyrenees Mar 30, 2011
Wow. Your writing style is professional and descriptive, and it sucked me right into the story. 
                              I enjoyed this, and I think the plot sounds very original and interesting. Voted.