In Pursuit of a Diamond [On Hold]

In Pursuit of a Diamond [On Hold]

15.5K Reads 563 Votes 20 Part Story
Rachel By Rachel24601 Updated Mar 14, 2011

When Leslie Hawkins meets a young sorcerer, Aubrey Sommerfeld, on a plane trip, she finds herself thrust into the middle of a magical war: the rebellious and power-hungry, and those trying desperately to quell their Movement. And things become dangerous when she discovers that Aubrey has in his possession a weapon that could decide outcome of the war, and either side will do whatever is necessary to get it from him.
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I'd like some feedback.  Vote, comment, let me know what you think!

WishingStar97 WishingStar97 Jun 25, 2011
Very interesting beginning! Definitely managed to pique my interest. Good job :)
aleatoire aleatoire Jun 17, 2011
You have great detail and description. It's really keeps the tension. It's good. You should keep writing :)
stephlouise2k9 stephlouise2k9 Jun 15, 2011
This chapter was amazing It was so detailed and well written that it made me interested from the first paragraph :) It's really good plus I love fantasy stories!!!
xxPaybacksabitchxx xxPaybacksabitchxx Jun 11, 2011
I don't usually read these kind of stories but it's definitely good! :) You're good at writing details and your grammar is good too. Keep up the good work! 
walkingsunshine walkingsunshine Jun 07, 2011
I love how ou write, your sentances flow beautifuly. Keep up the good work! I really like the plot, too. Very origional.  Voted! :)
GreatPyrenees GreatPyrenees Mar 30, 2011
Wow. Your writing style is professional and descriptive, and it sucked me right into the story. 
                              
                              I enjoyed this, and I think the plot sounds very original and interesting. Voted.