Fallen

Fallen

1.5K Reads 103 Votes 5 Part Story
C.W. Knight By Cross-Warrior Updated Apr 03, 2016

From a young age, Kailey Star knew what a monster was.  However, she had only known of the human monster.  She didn't know the monsters of myths existed until nearly losing her life to one.

Perhaps it would have been better if she had died.  Rather than living the dreadful life with her family as she expected, Kailey finds herself on an island where monsters rule and humans are just around to be their slaves.  Including Kailey, who is enrolled in a school meant to train humans for their enslaved future.

As graduation day approaches, the twisted reality that had become her life once more shatters as things even the monsters don't understand begin to occur.  And somehow, Kailey ends up being dragged into all of it.  It doesn't help that when graduation day does come, the worst possible outcome happens.

Yes - it definitely would have been better if the vampire had just killed her.

AtheScrivener AtheScrivener Apr 10, 2016
This is so mysterious how a prologue should. Definitely lures readers in. The sudden change in her mood is what makes her human.
panickypan panickypan Feb 16, 2016
I feel the first passage could have a slightly better flow but apart from that, your prologue is perfect. It's intriguing, it's flawless when it comes to spelling and grammar, and it lures the reader in. Perfect!
WhiteVisions WhiteVisions Jun 06, 2016
An intriguing start! I could feel her emotions. Every sentence lures me in as I find the story more thrilling than before. It kind of give me this mysterious feeling and gets me hook up instantly. XD
Nyeffer Nyeffer Jul 04, 2016
Nice concept I like it if it could stay 
                              But alas it's out of my control
                              I am not a critic about grammar cause I am not the knowledgable in that regard
                              
                              I like the vagueness nature of this prologue
jade-says jade-says Jan 12, 2016
It's great and very mysterious. I liked your mc's observations and how you described emotions. this isan exciting start.
nourella nourella Jan 11, 2016
You kept the prologue short and thrilling. Well done for that! But, it was a bit vague. Maybe you need to give more information so that the reader might have a slight idea on what's going on, so that they could eagerly continue reading to find out more.
                              
                              ~  n  o  u  r  e  l  l  a