A beautiful young woman was missing. I knew I had a murder. I even had a suspect. But would I ever find the body? Would I ever be able to arrest the suspect without the body? Don't believe all that crap you see on TV shows. Follow me on this true crime story and see what happens in a real murder case.

  • cops
  • crime
  • criminals
  • csi
  • guns
  • holmes
  • homicide
  • law-enforcement
  • missing
  • murder
  • mystery
  • nonfiction
  • police
  • sherlock
  • suspense
  • thriller
  • true-crime
This paragraph makes me think there is a scene of this conversation that I want to see played out. Doing so will give your readers a better picture of the family and provide opportunities for you to characterize them.
Please check out my story! Let me know what you think, if you have any advise, make sure to tell me! #SiblingsofLakefall
NIce opening, though I think the first and second sentences should really be separated by a colon.  There's also a typo in the fourth sentence: "...a[s] casual as..."
cole_11_gatlin cole_11_gatlin Sep 04, 2017
Follow me to read my new upcoming story, "The Unsub," a spin-off series similar to the TV show criminal minds
Some copy stuff to fix: eighteen-year-old, The numbers mentioned should be written out, the period in "She's dead". should be within the quotation marks.  
                              Getting a good sense of narrative voice already.
Alyse_BreAnn Alyse_BreAnn Jul 24, 2017
I've been meaning to start this book of yours, thank goodness I finally got to it