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Fingerprints { EDITING }

Fingerprints { EDITING }

4.3K Reads 879 Votes 26 Part Story
Bethany By ShhBethsReading Updated Mar 20

Kristen Mason is a teenage girl who has had her life planned out since she could remember. Cory Stevens is the new boy in the year who quickly becomes interested in Kristen. One drunken night between the two of them leaves them in a decision that will change their lives forever. They're both leaving their mark on the earth, but a lot earlier than intentionally planned.

tracindimstars tracindimstars 17 hours ago
                              It's not really required to mention "even though" they look nothing alike. They're not really related, are they.?
                              It's nice to see a MC who's not the scared, back if the class sack of potatoes that is so common. I like that she has spirit and sass. 
                              I think the male MC is a little dull though and give him more dialogue to show more of his personality.
                              With all said, Good job on the first chapter.
You're shifting tenses hmmm: He replies or his reply is, Adan and Laura what they missed
Place a comma before addressing a name in dialogue :) 
                              "Excuse me, sir."
                              "Sorry, Kristen"
So it IS set in England lol! 
                              Oh my god, Leeds, Yorkshire! Lush accent overload<3
Sanya13579 Sanya13579 Mar 05
This was a long chapter.. loved it but you could put in more dialogue