So You Might Be a Vampire - (The Original)

So You Might Be a Vampire - (The Original)

797K Reads 895 Votes 1 Part Story
R.V. Smith By RodneyVSmith Completed

Nobody told Bob that when he became a vampire, he would still have to keep his day job at the pornshop. Foul-mouthed, sarcastically funny, Bob is completely new to the whole vampire life. His ex-girlfriend hates him, he's addicted to blood, his Vampires Anonymous group failed... and way too people are trying to kill him.  There are over 101 ways to suck at being a vampire, and Bob is living proof.

REVIEWS:
@DavidJThirteen
 Humor has to be one of the toughest genres to get right. This book really pulls it off. Thank you for an  enjoyable, entertaining read! Your style reminded me a little of David Wong although that might just be because he's the only other author I've read that mashed up humor and horror.

@SharylFriend
This was awesome beyond mere words!!! Should be a BESTSELLER!!!!! Never stop writing and may you be successful in the Literary field! You have real talent!

@RockingMama
No. I refuse to accept this ending. I want more. Dammit!

@LeenaCherry
I LOVE your book and can't wait to read the next one ! I love how u told the story how it is and it's not a fantasy like any other book . Keep up the good work ;)

@Signed_Sealed_96
This has been by far the best and funniest book I've read. I related to Bob, he was sorta like a kindred spirit. His dark times made me feel like maybe if I tried too, I'd get somewhere. I love this and I can't wait to tell my friends about this b'%&hing vampire story I read nonstop.

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FRIENDS OF VLAD - ON FACEBOOK
So it finally happened: Friends of Vlad Facebook group is FINALLY available.  Join and show your support for Bob, Claude, Sammy and Beatrice as the adventure continues to unfold... are you a friend of Vlad?  Are you?
https://www.facebook.com/groups/FriendsOfVlad

You can follow Bob on TWITTER https://twitter.com/bob_the_vampire

Content Warning
The story you are about to read is intended for mature readers due to its language. It may not be appropriate for all audiences. Please read at your own discretion.

  • bad
  • badboy
  • boy
  • comedy
  • featured
  • funny
  • hilarious
  • humor
  • vampire
-dontCARE-- -dontCARE-- Jul 07, 2017
Most people are not going to wait til their 18 to read this.
- - Aug 23, 2016
"Readers 18+" 
                              PfffffffffffftHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA oh you're a funny one 😉
TakenUsernameSoz TakenUsernameSoz Aug 08, 2016
Lmao 12 yrs old. Trust me, the 12/13 yr old friends I have are super mature so dw.
pinkycupcake pinkycupcake Feb 02, 2017
Happy to be back on wattpad after a long time so obviously I have to reread this. And PLS CAN SOMEONE SLAP THIS QUOTE RIGHT HERE ON A POSTER?!!? CUZ CUSSING MAKES EVERYTHING HILARIOUS
Fantasy12lover Fantasy12lover Aug 17, 2016
I've probably read worse -shrugs- I'm definitely going to read it.
AshaElmi AshaElmi Feb 20, 2016
*says in deep voice*Chanllenge Accepted *everything turns into pixel*