Relentless (Relentless Book 1)

Relentless (Relentless Book 1)

602K Reads 21.2K Votes 22 Part Story
Karen Lynch By klynch21 Completed

Sara Grey’s world shattered ten years ago when her father was brutally 
murdered. Now at seventeen, she is still haunted by memories of that day
 and driven by the need to understand why it happened. She lives a life 
full of secrets and her family and friends have no idea of the 
supernatural world she is immersed in or of Sara’s own very powerful 
gift.

In her quest for answers about her father’s death, Sara takes risks 
that expose her and her friends to danger and puts herself into the 
sights of a sadistic vampire. On the same fateful night she meets 
Nikolas, a warrior who turns Sara’s world upside down and is determined 
to protect her even if it’s the last thing she wants.

Sara’s life starts to spin out of control as she is hunted by an 
obsessed vampire, learns that her friends have secrets of their own and 
reels from the truth about her own ancestry. Sara has always been 
fiercely independent but in order to survive now she must open herself 
to others, to reveal her deepest secrets. And she must learn to trust 
the one person capable of breaking down the walls around her.

Now I'm really interested to know what she's actually buying. Great bit of intrigue here.
Great strong opening, but I almost wish you had included a wee bit more detail on what kind of face your MC is making while tapping the watch. I can't tell if it's sarcasm or genuine concern she's wasting his time just by the way she uses the next dialogue.
A little more description on smell could even do more wonders with the brewery visuals or olfactory senses, otherwise, loving your writing so far.
I think you forgot the a and you're here "you're too young for a heart attack" unless that's how the troll talks
I just wanna say that I've already read this book and the series on Amazon and it's amazing it's truly one of my favorites
The band is not that bad but im glad that you included it cause normally it gets overlooked and stuff and like my friends always tell me never try to fit in if it makes u someone ur not