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The Craving [scrappin' for parts]

The Craving [scrappin' for parts]

96.9K Reads 3.8K Votes 21 Part Story
☠ RIP in pieces ☠ By NamelessCrow Completed

The last thing Kyle remembers is running out of the woods with a screechy voice in his head telling him to run for his life. But when he starts having weird blackouts and waking up covered in blood, he starts questioning, not only his sanity but his true nature as well.
  
           To make matters worse, it seems the guys he fled from are the ones who turned him into the monster he now is and are doing the same to many different people of all ages.
  
           With the psychotic scientists on his trail and the help of others, Kyle must find a way to stop these experiments, even if it means getting a bullet through the head in the process and never seeing his family - which he was slowly, but surely starting to remember - ever again.
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             WARNING
(2015) Second draft.
Being scrapped for a complete rewrite.
Rated Mature for violence and strong language.
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Word Count: 72.2K

Way too much passive voice for an action-y scene. Needs fixing.
Nah, I don't think all that food could've been digested so quickly...
                               Let's make him puke and make it gross, LOL!
Too much italicized text. 
                              
                              *Thought: would this be better written in first-person present? Hmm...
Too many ellipsis in this paragraph.
                              
                              Make "The man continued to glare at him." into its own paragraph and add detail.
RosalieTarr RosalieTarr Jun 28, 2016
Oh wow, I love this! I'm definitely going to keep reading. Your writing style is very professional. Well done!
00crossfire 00crossfire May 30, 2016
Four years wow!
                              It's showing through tho cuz this books awesome