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Pen Your Pride
Undiscovered Secrets

Undiscovered Secrets

9.9K Reads 353 Votes 12 Part Story
NightSpirit By NightSpirit Updated Jul 21, 2011

(Aka: The Dark Figure Changed My Life Around) Maya was just like any other average nineteen year old. That was until she was being followed one day by The Dark Figure. On finding out who The Dark Figure is Maya stumbles across a secret that will change her life forever. A secret her family has kept from her, a secret that she unknowingly is being protected from, but why? and what happens when she finds out two secret agencies want her, but why?

  • agency
  • agent
  • agents
  • dark
  • darkfigure
  • date
  • dress
  • fantasy
  • faye
  • fiction
  • figure
  • hidden
  • hideout
  • humor
  • kiss
  • lies
  • maya
  • mission
  • missions
  • mystery
  • operative
  • party
  • phoenix
  • pool
  • revenge
  • romance
  • school
  • secret
  • secrets
  • special
  • spy
  • suspence
  • teen
  • thriller
  • training
  • truth
  • tuxedo
  • undiscoveredgem
HeBrokeMyHeart HeBrokeMyHeart Jul 22, 2011
Prologue - I'm not sure if it is necessary, most editors would tell you to scrap it other wise. Also I did see some small grammar errors, nothing big though. Good luck :) 
Blueberrytheawesome Blueberrytheawesome Jul 20, 2011
first off, i love your book trailer, second off, i'm in love with the story, and third off, you're just awesome...keep it up!
LyricalNonsense LyricalNonsense Jul 19, 2011
Nice story so far, and the description is awesome but there were a few tense errors. Just like 1 or 2 so don't worry xD And alsoooo....what had i wanted to sayy, Oh yea! I voted...and this was absolutely brilliant, and i got scared out of my mind, and, i basically luv this :D Keep it upp
NoOneLikesYou NoOneLikesYou Jul 19, 2011
A good story like, and your writing is good. 
                              It needs more description though. There was some errors in there too.
EmmaWilliams66 EmmaWilliams66 Jul 19, 2011
I like how you started your story it is briallnt and it hooked me straight away and your decription is great some stories lack it but ur's doesn't which is good 
Etcetera Etcetera Jul 19, 2011
ooh! Great start! I felt the intensity and fear. (: Brilliant.