@change_your_ticket do u happen to own the account change your ticket on instagram?
there is slight improvement from chapter 1... lunch talk is kinda boring so spice it up with maybe someone you don't like comes to your table, etc.
sorry to say but really predictable and a lot of spelling errors
Quite cliche and quite a lot mistakes. Maybe edit it and see if you can through in an element of surprise or mystery? It also seems rushed:) please don't be offended.
Nice idea, but so far cliche. Find a way to make it really unique and out of the ordinary.
um.... capitalize, put dialogues in a new line, try not to rush the sequence of events and describe more..... lol if i sound mean.... sry.... but you do have a interesting plot going on tho :)