a blind hero

a blind hero

1.5K Reads 45 Votes 2 Part Story
Alkora Cander By kokushibyoame Updated Oct 18, 2015

percy is blind

  • annabethchase
  • awesomeness
  • blind
  • lukecastellan
  • percyjackson
  • sadxhappy
  • stories
  • tridentthedog
shrekislife12345 shrekislife12345 Jun 17, 2017
The jumbled up words make it hard for me to read and concentrate
shrekislife12345 shrekislife12345 Jun 17, 2017
This is constructive criticism. The story is a bit rushed. The organization of the dialogue is jumbled up. For example after writing a piece of dialogue you are supposed to skip a line then write the next piece of dialogue. An example I like this:
                              
                              "Hi", I said.
                              
                              "Hey", Jensen replied.
kokushibyoame kokushibyoame Nov 19, 2014
Please comment on it. I want to know how you think it is. I know I made some writing errors so dont make fun! :|)