Swallow

Swallow

226K Reads 17.9K Votes 40 Part Story
Sam Smith By Pixee_Styx Updated Jan 11

Swallow is a chilling story that will make your skin crawl. 

Mildred is a meek high school student that suffers bullying from peers and neglect from parents and authority figures. Finally, she has had enough. In an unhinged moment, she seeks vengeance in dark magic, unwittingly opening herself to a dreadful demonic possession. Suddenly, she's gaining all the good qualities she desires. The only problem is that she steals them from her bullies...by consuming them. The demon inside her is on a mission to make Mildred perfect by eating one bully at a time.

Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Any similarities to names, places, or situations is purely coincidental.

#3 in Horror 9/14/16

Holy_Bundle_Of_Kira Holy_Bundle_Of_Kira Oct 13, 2016
I just finished reading this book and it was the best one I have ever read. You inspired me to make my own horror story, although I can't put the words like you can. I love your imagination!!! Please don't stop writing!!
rhoadesJRC rhoadesJRC Jan 18
Not a fan of mirror scenes because they are overused to the point of cliché but I enjoy your writer's voice. It is pulling me through your story. I expect wonderful things from this story.
I feel bad for Mildred, but still... you can't (usually) blame your own misfortune on someone else. Looks? I suppose, if it wee getting "bad genes" from your parents. But being fat is kinda her own fault for eating bad food (tho slow metabolism could def play a part in it)
rhoadesJRC rhoadesJRC Jan 18
It's a relief to see a protagonist who is contrary to societal ideals. You could compress this paragraph into less wordy, more impact full statements. Also you stated how they make her feel when her parents are home. How does she feel when they are gone?
Omg sameeee
                              My hair always looks like it's brushed with a porkchop
Welp... this book is really hitting home😂😂
                              Imma have to start pullin some jokes😒