Our Universe (Alien Story)

22 Part Story 15.9K Reads 232 Votes
Jennifer By SuffocatingHugs Completed
Jas is a simple girl who would give her whole brain to study and get straight A's.
    When she wonders home from having a great time with her friends she finds a boy: Xavier. Since she lived on her own with no parents to say what to do, she takes Xavier under her wings and realizes he isn't what He seems.
In all honesty you need to edit this and also some parts did not make sense and I was not able to read it. Just some feedback.
Sorry, I'm sure it's actually a good read, but it needs some serious editing. I could barely read the first few sentences. :/
Hmm. You really need to edit this. It has promise, but the errors in your sentence structures take away from the book. It makes it hard to read.