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He's back, and brought the nightmare of a past with him.

He's back, and brought the nightmare of a past with him.

3.4K Reads 33 Votes 10 Part Story
sunflowergirl By sunflowerrgirll Updated Nov 22, 2011

Being with him, Jennifer felt like she was flying and the sky's the limit. Every touch felt like electricity shooting through her. Every "I love you" worth it. But now she wasn't so sure. She was 16 years old, just beginning to understand life. One night, one guy, and one wrong move amounted to the worst mistake of her life. Instantly all the sunny blue skies replaced by dark stormy clouds. No one knows what happened to her just yet. Just herself, and of course him. Daniel left her and gave her this secret to harbor inside of her for the rest of her life. But now, there's news that he's back, and he certainly hasn't forgotten a single detail. What does he want with her now? Will he ever let her live at peace or continue to destroy what little part of her life she finally rebuilt? And the biggest question of all, will forgiveness ever be an option?

sunflowerrgirll sunflowerrgirll Apr 17, 2011
Thank you for the feedback, I really appreciate it. I will definitely use your tips(:
- - Apr 17, 2011
I like it. But first, you need to spell out OMG in dialogue. You need to remember to use ' in words like don't and It's. Maybe use smaller spacing, there is a lot of  white space there. But I do like the story line. It's intriguing, maybe add  a bit more detail.. Other than that, good job!