Over and Over (Lashton)
Ashton is okay right now.
He's always like this after a bad bout. He starts off saying that the world is his oyster and he loves everyone, but when the energy and fresh success fades, so does he.
He knows about all of Ashton's problems. He knows about the time Ashton was bullied nearly to the brink, the family deaths and friend losses, and the ups and downs, the latter of which seem to be more common lately. It's been so easy lately for Ashton to slip after a joke gone wrong, or a jab on Twitter.
Ashton always says he's sorry, repeating it again and again if only to convince himself. Luke knows he's sorry, knows that he can't help it. And he'll sit by the bathtub for hours, holding Ashton, to make sure that he knows someone loves him.
None of the other boys know. Ashton couldn't bring himself to tell them and face their disapproving stares too, and he wouldn't let Luke tell them, so he's stuck in this half state of secrecy and confession to Luke.
Ashton hasn't gone too far yet, not far enough that Luke can't patch him up with gauze, antibiotics, and a long hug. But someday, someday, Luke knows Ashton won't be able to take it anymore, and Ashton will die.
And Luke will be all alone.