Rejeted and missed

Rejeted and missed

53K Reads 1.5K Votes 27 Part Story
falling-love By falling-love Completed

"She lying"he said I got up and pulled him to my room 
  
  "Exhibit A"I pointed to the bed "Exhibit B"I pointed to the bucket "and Exhibit C"I pointed to myself because I'm still wet
  
  "Mason care to explain"my dad asked 
  
  "It was a birthday surprise she needs all the make up for today"he said 
  
  "Shut Manson"I said 
  
  "Shut up Mason"he mocked me 
  
  "Happy birthday princess"my dad said 
  
  "Stop calling me that I'm 16 now"I groan going in my closet

So far I don't think this book is bad it just needs more details  (if that sounds right) like more information in between the events in her. Things like feelings and all that good junk🤓 and a lil proofreading and your book could be great
I just clicked on your book and reading this rant only makes me want to read it more
siritakeida siritakeida Jun 24
It takes courage to write a story that you want to tell , but It takes a strong person to listen to criticism of your work of art
princessxlrh princessxlrh Jun 29, 2016
It's Pack not Pact what the hell is a pact, and it's Necklace not neck less.
gerdajohanson3 gerdajohanson3 Jun 15, 2016
The bad grammer in this book just makes me want to delete it.
foreverxaxreject foreverxaxreject Oct 08, 2014
You are a beautiful human being... I love them... Bless your soul