A Day at Grandma's

A Day at Grandma's

11.8K Reads 869 Votes 18 Part Story
EmilyHippich By EmilyHippich Updated Nov 10

Lauren and Joey are going to be spending the next week at their grandmother's house. They expect to have a normal week of baking cookies and playing board games, but this next week will be anything but normal.

I think this could be improved if you add paragraph breaks for dialogue. That's the standard and it helps the reader's eye move through the story with an easy flow.
@EmilyHippich You're  welcome. I really like your story, but the dialogue format was tripping me up. It's cool that the grandmother's house is like something from a different time :)
Great work Emily! Sounds like aunt Kirsten's house when she moved in!
LediaDarrow LediaDarrow Dec 28, 2015
OK waiting for the next chapter. And also waiting for the next chapter of kidnapped. Enjoy your writing.
LediaDarrow LediaDarrow Dec 27, 2015
Need to delete that comment. Sounds like Lauren may be more susceptible to ghostie then her brother.
LediaDarrow LediaDarrow Dec 27, 2015
Sounds like Lauren may be more susceptible to ghostie her brother.