Deep Six

Deep Six

475 Reads 9 Votes 1 Part Story
Timothy Kelson By TimK96 Updated Apr 01, 2011

What do you do when it's your fault people are dying?
Enter the world of Mark Sinclair and experience the terror, passion and susspense of Deep Six. Can you catch the killer?
Written by Tim K and Edited By Kerri P

  • murder
- - Jun 16, 2013
Your cover is really cool, that's what made me read in the first place! 
                              I think that you have promising ideas! 
                              The only thing I'd tell you would be to work on the grammar's dialogues.
TimK96 TimK96 Apr 06, 2011
I finished editing my first chapter :). I've taken into consideration what you all said and decided to add a mini climax at the end, tell me what you think. Be brutally honest. :)
TimK96 TimK96 Apr 03, 2011
@GreatPyrenees @tianajade  Thank you both, i see the story in my mind but it never seems to come out write, hopefully I'll get better with practise, I just noticed the colour thing lol, thanks for commenting 
GreatPyrenees GreatPyrenees Apr 03, 2011
I notice you like to tell us the colors of things. That seems to be the only description you like to give. Try branching out! Tell us sounds, smells, feel, ect. Be diverse and creative. 
                              
                              But overall, I see talent behind this. Its interesting, and it caught my attention. Good work. =) 
TimK96 TimK96 Apr 03, 2011
@trishthewriter Thanks and your so true , originally my first chapter wasn't this split one it got straight to the point so I think I'll change it back to that
simranj simranj Apr 02, 2011
Nice! Thrity Five Reads already! I want to make a cover for the book :D