Cutting Deep

Cutting Deep

3.4K Reads 52 Votes 2 Part Story
AuybreyMaxx By AuybreyMaxx Updated Apr 01, 2011

Bianca Withers is a freshman at highschool. Divorced parents, two best friends, pretty normal, right? Wrong. She suffers through depression and has been a cutter since she was little. Trying to overcome this depression she struggles with it. And then she meets what she thinks is love -- until it kills her. This is Bianca's story. In her eyes.

  • cutting
  • depression
  • friends
  • life
  • love
xRadioRebelx xRadioRebelx Apr 02, 2011
THIS IS AWESOME! I CAN TOTALLY RELATE TO THIS!!! PLUSSS YOUR GRAMMAR IS REALLY GOOD!!! ^_^ <3 *VOTED* & DEFINITELY *FANNING* ! 8)
AuybreyMaxx AuybreyMaxx Apr 01, 2011
@RNLoswun Thank you for the fan and vote and the ADVICE! I'll try to keep my ''I's'' to a minimum. 
AuybreyMaxx AuybreyMaxx Apr 01, 2011
@trishthewriter Thank you! I'll take your advice to heart. =)
RNMurray RNMurray Apr 01, 2011
First of I would like to say great idea.  @trishthewriter pretty much pointed what I saw as well.  There are a tad bit too many I's in the part. Remember to vary your wording to keep the reader engaged.
                              
                              Fanned and voted   Keep writing and good work.
trishthewriter trishthewriter Apr 01, 2011
Your beginning was good. The only thing I'd say to improve since you're early in the story is not to use so many adverbs. Those are tell words, and the writer's job is to show readers what's going on. That aside, I like that you have an original idea. Voted and reading on. 
AuybreyMaxx AuybreyMaxx Mar 31, 2011
@silenceinthemist Haha thanks :) I personally think the best stories are ones where you can't relate to the characters -- you learn something new.