I felt nothing, but then I felt arms. Arms around me and for a second, I'm back in bed with her. Then she says something and I look at her. Because her voice is nothing like her voice; and when I look at her for a second it's her, but then I blink and it's not.
It's Jane Prarie. She's saying things like how terrible and how sad she is, but I just want her off me; so I shove her. I don't mean to, but hard. It puts a lot of distance between us and for a second everyone in the room stares. I didn't care that they were looking at me. After a moment I forget that they're staring and think of Carmella lying in the street after leaving my house. I think of how, perhaps, if I had held her a little tighter last night she wouldn't have left and she would still be alive.