She's Just Like Satan, But Sexier!

She's Just Like Satan, But Sexier!

101K Reads 2.5K Votes 42 Part Story
Lauren By WritingMyHeart Completed

Looks can be ever so deceiving...

Jackie is not your usual girl, she has a habit of running into trouble, a lot! She's a tomboy and is interested in both genders. She has been taken in by her group of friends, who are all overly protective about her, and they are all male.

 Her eye catches this one girl and she wants to get to know her but looks can be so deceiving.  A girl who is determined, sexy, and most definitely unforgettable. Will she ever realize how much trouble this chick has been involved in and will cause her??

Who knows what a bit of harmless fun can turn into? An amazing love life but as what expense? Tragedy, sorrow and even death. Perhaps there is more to it than meeting a hot girl in the local club.

(GIRLxGIRL,VAMPIRE)

Boiiii aren't these song lyrics from "I can make your bed rock " by li'l Wayne, Nikki minaj and some other people 😂😂😂
Reminds me of my friends when I'm drunk as fk 😆they won't let anyone near me. Cause I start kissing girls/guys only hot ones if they ugly I'm like nope nope drinking doesn't make me blind! 😆
Ima skip the guy description cause 😐it makes me feel nothing...I'm to Gay !
I want her, I need her, where can I find a girl like her? With the ass and the breast and the hour glass figure 😻
Cynical_Prophet Cynical_Prophet Sep 03, 2014
You do a lot of telling, sometimes there's no way around it but it's best show and not tell. Using your characters actions to build them rather than just spelling it out can make them more memorable.
                              
                              But good atmosphere over all.
smurphy97 smurphy97 Aug 22, 2014
You have descriptive writing. I like how you introduce her and her friends' personalities, it helps with the dialog.