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Imalroc

Imalroc

51.3K Reads 5.1K Votes 45 Part Story
smaoineamh By smaoineamh Updated Apr 08

In the brutal world of battleboxing, Imalroc sacrificed years to become an unbeatable champion. But his will to fight vanishes when he learns that he will never earn his freedom from the deadly sport, and he begins his own private rebellion against his masters. When his contract passes into the hands of the Toriem cousins, Imalroc discovers an unlikely path to freedom. The longer he is owned by the cousins, the further he is drawn into the web of secrets, politics and seduction that surround the Toriems and the dangerous powers closing in upon them. And as the stakes rise, Imalroc is faced with the realization that while his desperate drive for freedom has kept him alive, the price for breaking out of the battlebox forever might destroy him.



AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello again people! It's been a while, but I am finally back with a story I'm so excited to share. To those of you who read Beginnings, I want to say that this is a much darker, more complicated and distinctly different kind of story, but please give it a try! I do want to note however that it has a lot more depictions of violence and sex, because of the world in which it is set. I love these characters and I'm so happy to finally be introducing them to all of you. I hope you enjoy it. And please comment! I love feedback! It really helps me stay motivated to continue writing. Thank you for reading and supporting my writing!

MariaBlisse MariaBlisse Apr 14
How did he hear him over the sound of the applause? Especially that he was muttering to him.
MariaBlisse MariaBlisse Apr 14
I like this, but tinkling throws me a bit of. Do you mean it's a piercing laugh? Maybe it's because I've never heard that adjective being used like this.
MariaBlisse MariaBlisse Apr 14
i also agree with KaranSeraph - give us a little detail on the Duke so we can anchor him as a character in the scene. I'm imagining him to be wearing a long purple uniform for some reason, but that may be just me.
MariaBlisse MariaBlisse Apr 14
I really like this description, because I can definitely imagine this lady. It's really effective. I am imagining her with one of those beehive hairstyles, however, since you said her hair is piled on top of her head, which may or may not be what you we're going for?
MariaBlisse MariaBlisse Apr 14
Dialogue punctuation error: If this dialogue line in the first sentence is an uninterrupted line, then the comma after 'full' is fine, but this sentence seems like two dialogue lines because of how you capitalised it. So just look over it.
KaranSeraph KaranSeraph Apr 01
The Duke isn't described, which makes sense if Imalroc hates him. But, there could be a way to suggest appearance and still communicate dislike. Maybe Imalroc hates the Duke's gods-be-damned waxed moustache. (I just imagined he has villainous facial hair.)