Children of The Nine (Book One of A Dance Beneath the Sun)

Children of The Nine (Book One of A Dance Beneath the Sun)

14.1K Reads 502 Votes 88 Part Story
Charlie Nowell By charlieNowell Updated Oct 29

It is the 82nd year of the Federation...
              
Eggan Stamp is poor and life is hard. He dreams of new opportunities  on the Frontier, but will he find the riches he is searching for?
  
Elizabeth Fairfax is due to be married to a man she has never met. Will she live happily ever after like her favourite romance novels?
             
In the Frontier town of  Big Cactus folks talk of a strange child wandering the wilderness; Sheriff 'Old Scar' Longham and his lawmen are determined to investigate.
    
   Children of The Nine is book one in the series , A Dance Beneath The Sun; an epic fantasy western of adventure, love, and death set in the harshness of the desert.
              
         **Please note that this story does contain strong language and violence**

  • cowboys
  • epic
  • goblins
  • guns
  • magic
  • mystery
  • romance
  • sickness
  • swords
  • western
  • witches
@SicSemperT-Rex Nicely done. Only thing to point out is that this chapters ending felt unfinished. Perhaps add an engaging line at the end which draws it to a close e.g. We had no choice but to run.
RenkoThao9 RenkoThao9 May 10
I really like that line, "If the bear is weak, he will not eat"- that's a very memorable line! I hope the main character uses this line somewhere in the story!
RenkoThao9 RenkoThao9 May 10
@SicSemperT-Rex
                              
                              I love the struggles between Garcin and his father and their survival. Especially the amount of emotion Garcin's father tells Garcin to get some wood.
MagpieGD MagpieGD May 11
I'm really loving your writing style; I've seen a lot of stuff that comes across as over-the-top dramatic but you seem to strike just the right balance between intense and mild tones. It's brilliant!
I enjoyed this very much. Beautiful imagery through your words. And the rising tension was powerful. Great first chapter!
 #LC 
                              
                              I love your style. It's not too rushed, nor too slow. It doesn't give unnecessary details but supplies just enough to paint a picture. And that brings us to your amazing descriptions. They're compact, crisp and beautiful. 
                              I found no grammatical errors, so well done. ❤❤