NEW: Introducing Tap. Addictive chat stories for your 📲 Now in 10 languages
The Prizefighter

The Prizefighter

3K Reads 118 Votes 6 Part Story
Pollard Wharly By PollardWharly Updated Apr 04, 2011

The Fight never ends, even when the Fighter steps out of the ring.

janefoxx janefoxx Mar 14, 2012
Most of your sentences started the same way, with 'my legs', 'my body' and whatnot. Maybe you could try in changing the way you start them. Also, some of your paragraphs are too long. Some wattpaddians are chased away by long paragraphs. Just a suggestion. :)
ElleNikki44445252 ElleNikki44445252 Mar 07, 2012
I thought this easily brought me in. I didn't see any spelling mistakes in it which surprised me since there are usually one or two, so that made me very happy, and I loved the detail so all in all i think this is a really good story
NomNomCheese NomNomCheese Mar 07, 2012
I just like to say how beautifully this is written! its got so much detaile and everything is described so perfectly and its not boring either! its really immese and im curiouse to see what happens next :)
onepieceofrainbow onepieceofrainbow Mar 07, 2012
Wow! Great writing here, I love the way you introduce this story with such vivid imagery and such a fast, pulsing pace. I was definitely very intrigued reading this, good work!
nadzii1234 nadzii1234 Mar 07, 2012
This is good! I love hwo immediately you show the reader of this person trying so hard to breathe but failing. I think that's a powerful start to have! Well done.
StarSandwich StarSandwich Sep 24, 2011
Indeed, sets the seen well and it has emotion with in, The Imagerys good and the plott thickents. "Remember Thy Brother' :) Its unique and it leaves you wondering how far he can go...