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Trapped In The Heart Of The Wild Beast

Trapped In The Heart Of The Wild Beast

6.6K Reads 251 Votes 12 Part Story
musicalgirl By musicalgirl Updated Feb 04, 2016

The story revolves on the protagonist Abby trying to find the truth behind her birthmark and parents murder. When she's kidnapped will the truth finally surface? With enemies lurking around in every corner, friendships will be tested.Will Abby find who she is or destroy herself along the way.

tindulce18 tindulce18 Oct 17, 2011
Needs some editing and more description but the story is good. Voted. :)
MarineLynn MarineLynn Oct 17, 2011
There's lots of dialogue and get boring. Add MORE description. Because right now your story is just talking. Not enough description. Many writers in the real world succeed because of their unique and detailed description. If you want to make it to the top, you have to try to.
LadyAireen LadyAireen Oct 17, 2011
This is good although not really my cup of tea.
                              I suggest putting more description so that we may be able to picture the scene much clearer =)
                              Great plot and nice start!
yme123 yme123 Oct 17, 2011
Not a huge vampire fan but kudo's for making him a villain at least. Good story line but you might want to use a bit more descriptions after they talk I found I had to run to catch up with the dialogue but not see the surrounding scene
JohnnysDepps JohnnysDepps Oct 17, 2011
this is cool but im not a huge vamp voted and good job.
                              i also like the description, the blurb and story description
SparkleSavannah SparkleSavannah Jul 18, 2011
Very nice suspense going on.  Be sure to watch the punctuation.  :)