Six teens are devoted to a game with one rule: If a player gets tagged, they must change their life within the next fifteen minutes. The better the player, the bigger the change. One might give their car away, or punch the school bully. Another might change identities or sacrifice their virginity. Anything to keep evolving, to avoid fitting into a label or caring about the junk they own. But their quest for enlightenment has taken a rotten final turn - one of the players has murdered the game's creator, the teen prophet (cult leader?) David Bloom. 
    
    Our narrator is being framed for the crime; can he clear his name and discover which of his lifelong friends is the murderer before he takes the fall?
    
    [sic] is a gritty teen murder mystery that delves into the psychology of enlightenment among the criminally dysfunctional.
..(continued from last comment) drastically is intriguing. The storyline so far has set off that air of thrill. You tell us just enough to not leave us clueless but not so much as to kill the mystery. You're forcing us to read more in the best possible way. 
                                    
                                    Your characters. I'm two chapters in and I feel like I know them. You've snuck the descriptions of their appearances in there nicely without using that dreaded information dump, so I have a good picture of what they look like. Their personalities are vivid, too. The narrator's hesitant nature is clear, along with David's dominance in the relationship. David can tell Jacob (it is Jacob right? Can't remember) to break into a house and he'll go along with only a moment's reluctance. I also like David's unique views on people, how he thinks the things around them dictate their lives. It makes me as the reader reflect on things. You can already tell this will be sort of a main point that the story revolves around.
                                    
                                    I could probably go on, but lets stop there for now seeing as I'd like to hurry on to the next chapter. Plus you probably don't need to hear any more praise from a 14-year-old girl (I don't know what the heck I'm talking about, though I like to think I do). So, if you'll take anything from this, let it be my opening setence: Your writing makes me feel like crap. J.K. Rowling and Cassandra Clare and John Green all have the same affect on me, making me feel as if I'm living in the shadow of great authors like the ones mentioned. But I pray as I get older I'll progress and step into the light to cast a shadow of my own, just like you've done. 
                                    (Pardon the sappy metaphor. I'm a writer; I couldn't help it.) 
                                    
                                    ~Hayley~
..(continued from last comment) drastically is intriguing. The storyline so far has set off that air of thrill. You tell us just enough to not leave us clueless but not so much as to kill the mystery. You're forcing us to read more in the best possible way. 
                                    
                                    Your characters. I'm two chapters in and I feel like I know them. You've snuck the descriptions of their appearances in there nicely without using that dreaded information dump, so I have a good picture of what they look like. Their personalities are vivid, too. The narrator's hesitant nature is clear, along with David's dominance in the relationship. David can tell Jacob (it is Jacob right? Can't remember) to break into a house and he'll go along with only a moment's reluctance. I also like David's unique views on people, how he thinks the things around them dictate their lives. It makes me as the reader reflect on things. You can already tell this will be sort of a main point that the story revolves around.
                                    
                                    I could probably go on, but lets stop there for now seeing as I'd like to hurry on to the next chapter. Plus you probably don't need to hear any more praise from a 14-year-old girl (I don't know what the heck I'm talking about, though I like to think I do). So, if you'll take anything from this, let it be my opening setence: Your writing makes me feel like crap. J.K. Rowling and Cassandra Clare and John Green all have the same affect on me, making me feel as if I'm living in the shadow of great authors like the ones mentioned. But I pray as I get older I'll progress and step into the light to cast a shadow of my own, just like you've done. 
                                    (Pardon the sappy metaphor. I'm a writer; I couldn't help it.) 
                                    
                                    ~Hayley~
..(continued from last comment) drastically is intriguing. The storyline so far has set off that air of thrill. You tell us just enough to not leave us clueless but not so much as to kill the mystery. You're forcing us to read more in the best possible way. 
                                    
                                    Your characters. I'm two chapters in and I feel like I know them. You've snuck the descriptions of their appearances in there nicely without using that dreaded information dump, so I have a good picture of what they look like. Their personalities are vivid, too. The narrator's hesitant nature is clear, along with David's dominance in the relationship. David can tell Jacob (it is Jacob right? Can't remember) to break into a house and he'll go along with only a moment's reluctance. I also like David's unique views on people, how he thinks the things around them dictate their lives. It makes me as the reader reflect on things. You can already tell this will be sort of a main point that the story revolves around.
                                    
                                    I could probably go on, but lets stop there for now seeing as I'd like to hurry on to the next chapter. Plus you probably don't need to hear any more praise from a 14-year-old girl (I don't know what the heck I'm talking about, though I like to think I do). So, if you'll take anything from this, let it be my opening setence: Your writing makes me feel like crap. J.K. Rowling and Cassandra Clare and John Green all have the same affect on me, making me feel as if I'm living in the shadow of great authors like the ones mentioned. But I pray as I get older I'll progress and step into the light to cast a shadow of my own, just like you've done. 
                                    (Pardon the sappy metaphor. I'm a writer; I couldn't help it.) 
                                    
                                    ~Hayley~
..(continued from last comment) drastically is intriguing. The storyline so far has set off that air of thrill. You tell us just enough to not leave us clueless but not so much as to kill the mystery. You're forcing us to read more in the best possible way. 
                                    
                                    Your characters. I'm two chapters in and I feel like I know them. You've snuck the descriptions of their appearances in there nicely without using that dreaded information dump, so I have a good picture of what they look like. Their personalities are vivid, too. The narrator's hesitant nature is clear, along with David's dominance in the relationship. David can tell Jacob (it is Jacob right? Can't remember) to break into a house and he'll go along with only a moment's reluctance. I also like David's unique views on people, how he thinks the things around them dictate their lives. It makes me as the reader reflect on things. You can already tell this will be sort of a main point that the story revolves around.
                                    
                                    I could probably go on, but lets stop there for now seeing as I'd like to hurry on to the next chapter. Plus you probably don't need to hear any more praise from a 14-year-old girl (I don't know what the heck I'm talking about, though I like to think I do). So, if you'll take anything from this, let it be my opening setence: Your writing makes me feel like crap. J.K. Rowling and Cassandra Clare and John Green all have the same affect on me, making me feel as if I'm living in the shadow of great authors like the ones mentioned. But I pray as I get older I'll progress and step into the light to cast a shadow of my own, just like you've done. 
                                    (Pardon the sappy metaphor. I'm a writer; I couldn't help it.) 
                                    
                                    ~Hayley~
..(continued from last comment) drastically is intriguing. The storyline so far has set off that air of thrill. You tell us just enough to not leave us clueless but not so much as to kill the mystery. You're forcing us to read more in the best possible way. 
                                    
                                    Your characters. I'm two chapters in and I feel like I know them. You've snuck the descriptions of their appearances in there nicely without using that dreaded information dump, so I have a good picture of what they look like. Their personalities are vivid, too. The narrator's hesitant nature is clear, along with David's dominance in the relationship. David can tell Jacob (it is Jacob right? Can't remember) to break into a house and he'll go along with only a moment's reluctance. I also like David's unique views on people, how he thinks the things around them dictate their lives. It makes me as the reader reflect on things. You can already tell this will be sort of a main point that the story revolves around.
                                    
                                    I could probably go on, but lets stop there for now seeing as I'd like to hurry on to the next chapter. Plus you probably don't need to hear any more praise from a 14-year-old girl (I don't know what the heck I'm talking about, though I like to think I do). So, if you'll take anything from this, let it be my opening setence: Your writing makes me feel like crap. J.K. Rowling and Cassandra Clare and John Green all have the same affect on me, making me feel as if I'm living in the shadow of great authors like the ones mentioned. But I pray as I get older I'll progress and step into the light to cast a shadow of my own, just like you've done. 
                                    (Pardon the sappy metaphor. I'm a writer; I couldn't help it.) 
                                    
                                    ~Hayley~
..(continued from last comment) drastically is intriguing. The storyline so far has set off that air of thrill. You tell us just enough to not leave us clueless but not so much as to kill the mystery. You're forcing us to read more in the best possible way. 
                                    
                                    Your characters. I'm two chapters in and I feel like I know them. You've snuck the descriptions of their appearances in there nicely without using that dreaded information dump, so I have a good picture of what they look like. Their personalities are vivid, too. The narrator's hesitant nature is clear, along with David's dominance in the relationship. David can tell Jacob (it is Jacob right? Can't remember) to break into a house and he'll go along with only a moment's reluctance. I also like David's unique views on people, how he thinks the things around them dictate their lives. It makes me as the reader reflect on things. You can already tell this will be sort of a main point that the story revolves around.
                                    
                                    I could probably go on, but lets stop there for now seeing as I'd like to hurry on to the next chapter. Plus you probably don't need to hear any more praise from a 14-year-old girl (I don't know what the heck I'm talking about, though I like to think I do). So, if you'll take anything from this, let it be my opening setence: Your writing makes me feel like crap. J.K. Rowling and Cassandra Clare and John Green all have the same affect on me, making me feel as if I'm living in the shadow of great authors like the ones mentioned. But I pray as I get older I'll progress and step into the light to cast a shadow of my own, just like you've done. 
                                    (Pardon the sappy metaphor. I'm a writer; I couldn't help it.) 
                                    
                                    ~Hayley~