Don't Leave Me

Don't Leave Me

4 Part Story 684 Reads 27 Votes
Devil's Child By Stud_Muffin47 Updated Jul 28, 2012

It's about a girl(Bell, who's telling the story)  who had to deal with the troubles of her father dying, and her best friend becoming her boyfriend. They both muck around in the woods and get shot and taken up into the light above there heads. The deal was that she was to do there dirty work , to kill an old friend of theirs or Bay dies ( her best-friend to boyfriend). They both overtook some problems and have a new problem thrown in there face. A boy that likes Bell, comes and  throws a spanner in the works and is throwing them of track and a girl on their squad team is trying to get her hands on Bay and Bell is not liking a minute of it. They have to train Eric (the boy who came)  to their stage of skill, with guns and kill weapons, ,within three weeks till they have to go kill Tytem(  the person they have to go kill) and Bay is uncomfortable as Eric loves Bell Secretly, but is very notice able. As they have to set out as a squad and Eric is apart of their squad now and is on this journey with Bell and Bay. But what lies ahead of them? Death or a new start to life?

Eclipse119 Eclipse119 Jul 28, 2012 06:26PM
So much detail! This was really intense. The only thing I would suggest would be watching the punctuation! Other than that, super good!
Stud_Muffin47 Stud_Muffin47 Jul 27, 2012 11:05AM
@Donny24 Ill make u one when u want me to. just have 2 tell me!
Becky240 Becky240 Jul 24, 2012 02:06PM
@Miss_Mystery_Devil No! Covers!!!! I stink @ cover making!!!
Stud_Muffin47 Stud_Muffin47 Jul 23, 2012 11:48PM
@Miss_Mystery_Devil Yeah do ya want me to make u an cover? Sox. i thought u meant writing!:)
The_Penkeeper The_Penkeeper Jul 23, 2012 08:29AM
The use of suspense is used extremely well in this chapter. You use vivid detail and keep the reader (well, me anyway) reading. I like the storyline so far. 
                                    Constructive criticism: 
                                    Check your spelling and punctuation.
                                    Try not to use the same word twice in a sentence if possible
Stud_Muffin47 Stud_Muffin47 Jul 21, 2012 09:29AM
@lalamo you can read the hand written verison, i take it to school everyday