Don't Leave Me

4 Part Story 684 Reads 27 Votes
Devil's Child By Stud_Muffin47 Updated 3 years ago
It's about a girl(Bell, who's telling the story)  who had to deal with the troubles of her father dying, and her best friend becoming her boyfriend. They both muck around in the woods and get shot and taken up into the light above there heads. The deal was that she was to do there dirty work , to kill an old friend of theirs or Bay dies ( her best-friend to boyfriend). They both overtook some problems and have a new problem thrown in there face. A boy that likes Bell, comes and  throws a spanner in the works and is throwing them of track and a girl on their squad team is trying to get her hands on Bay and Bell is not liking a minute of it. They have to train Eric (the boy who came)  to their stage of skill, with guns and kill weapons, ,within three weeks till they have to go kill Tytem(  the person they have to go kill) and Bay is uncomfortable as Eric loves Bell Secretly, but is very notice able. As they have to set out as a squad and Eric is apart of their squad now and is on this journey with Bell and Bay. But what lies ahead of them? Death or a new start to life?
So much detail! This was really intense. The only thing I would suggest would be watching the punctuation! Other than that, super good!
@Miss_Mystery_Devil No! Covers!!!! I stink @ cover making!!!
The use of suspense is used extremely well in this chapter. You use vivid detail and keep the reader (well, me anyway) reading. I like the storyline so far. 
                                    Constructive criticism: 
                                    Check your spelling and punctuation.
                                    Try not to use the same word twice in a sentence if possible
THIS IS SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Update soon!!!!!!!!
This book is awesome and I should know since I've read a lot of the hand written version isn't that right @Miss_Mystery_Devil :D