Possessed by Lord Mage (The Enchanted World Book 1)[Under Revision]

Possessed by Lord Mage (The Enchanted World Book 1)[Under Revision]

1.2M Reads 37.7K Votes 22 Part Story
Faddiemanzi By faddiemanzi Completed

A century ago the Fae Princess Noelle fled from her almost-mate Lord Of Mage, Tyran, on the day of their union announcement and settled in the Human Realm thinking she was safe from what she considered a savage, emotionless brute unworthy of her hand in union but she soon learned that what Lord Mage wanted, Lord Mage got.
Tyran granted his little mate an entire century to live her life without him but that contract was long overdue with the mate-bond becoming intolerable and he arrived in the Human Realm to claim what was in his right.

  • adventure
  • beasts
  • centaurs
  • dragons
  • enchanted
  • enchanted-world-series
  • epic
  • faeries
  • fantasy
  • king
  • lovestory
  • lycanthrope
  • mage
  • maledomineering
  • mermaids
  • queen
  • realms
  • romance
  • royalblood
  • series
  • shifters
Really long 3rd sentence. It should be broken up at least into 2 sentences.
when the fictional character had set a high expectation for men
This is a really long paragraph, I would consider breaking it up. Maybe make a new paragraph at “At 4am”. 
                              Also, I believe the “or” in the bath sentence should be “of”. 
                              That said, great job giving the reader a description of the main character right away!
Oh, we’re in the guys head now? I realize the bold letters were the indication, but I would add a bigger space between this paragraph and the one above it. Make it super obvious that a change has take place.
Kasey613 Kasey613 Apr 13
I love how that last line is said like it's something everyone does everyday lol
When writing prose, don’t use text speak unless it’s in a text message. Spell out “oh my god”.