The N Days (Season 1) (Finished)

53 Part Story 360K Reads 4.3K Votes
John Murray McKay By JohnMurrayMcKay Completed
In a world gone terribly wrong, Where the monsters of our deepest nightmares have come alive.
    
    One girl is on a journey to find Sanctuary in America. 
    
    These are the N chronicles.
    
    Welcome to the story of Samantha Worthington Day.  On the run from a demon horde that tore through the dreamscape and destroyed everything she ever loved. She is looking for Sanctuary in America, a place of safety and hope where humanity can start rebuilding their shattered world.  Follow her journey across the United states with real life GPS coordinates and experience true life locations with her. She has a long way to go and her amazing destiny is yet to be revealed. 
    
    Called of Lightning, Called of Darkness, Called of Light
Critique:
                                    
                                    What I Liked:
                                    - This built up a lot of suspense.
                                    - I like how you use one-sentence paragraphs for a greater effect. It built up more tension and made the structure more interesting.
                                    - Your plot seems pretty unique and interesting.
                                    
                                    
                                    Improvement(s):
                                    - The sentence 'On the run from a demon horde that tore through the dreamscape and destroyed everything she ever loved.' to me, seems like it needs something else. You've used an adverbial opening with the 'On the run from...' and so, after you'd finished the sentence, I was expecting a comma and another bit added onto the end. It's very hard to explain what I mean properly through writing, but I hope you know where I'm coming from? 
                                    - The line "Welcome to the story of Samatha Worthington Day." confused me. I was looking at it for a while, wondering whether Samantha Worthington Day was supposed to be some sort of world or place, since it doesn't really make it clear that she's a character. If she even is? I'm still not sure, in all honesty.
                                    
                                    How much I enjoyed reading: 6/10.
Critique:
                                    
                                    What I Liked:
                                    - This built up a lot of suspense.
                                    - I like how you use one-sentence paragraphs for a greater effect. It built up more tension and made the structure more interesting.
                                    - Your plot seems pretty unique and interesting.
                                    
                                    
                                    Improvement(s):
                                    - The sentence 'On the run from a demon horde that tore through the dreamscape and destroyed everything she ever loved.' to me, seems like it needs something else. You've used an adverbial opening with the 'On the run from...' and so, after you'd finished the sentence, I was expecting a comma and another bit added onto the end. It's very hard to explain what I mean properly through writing, but I hope you know where I'm coming from? 
                                    - The line "Welcome to the story of Samatha Worthington Day." confused me. I was looking at it for a while, wondering whether Samantha Worthington Day was supposed to be some sort of world or place, since it doesn't really make it clear that she's a character. If she even is? I'm still not sure, in all honesty.
                                    
                                    How much I enjoyed reading: 6/10.
Critique:
                                    
                                    What I Liked:
                                    - This built up a lot of suspense.
                                    - I like how you use one-sentence paragraphs for a greater effect. It built up more tension and made the structure more interesting.
                                    - Your plot seems pretty unique and interesting.
                                    
                                    
                                    Improvement(s):
                                    - The sentence 'On the run from a demon horde that tore through the dreamscape and destroyed everything she ever loved.' to me, seems like it needs something else. You've used an adverbial opening with the 'On the run from...' and so, after you'd finished the sentence, I was expecting a comma and another bit added onto the end. It's very hard to explain what I mean properly through writing, but I hope you know where I'm coming from? 
                                    - The line "Welcome to the story of Samatha Worthington Day." confused me. I was looking at it for a while, wondering whether Samantha Worthington Day was supposed to be some sort of world or place, since it doesn't really make it clear that she's a character. If she even is? I'm still not sure, in all honesty.
                                    
                                    How much I enjoyed reading: 6/10.
Critique:
                                    
                                    What I Liked:
                                    - This built up a lot of suspense.
                                    - I like how you use one-sentence paragraphs for a greater effect. It built up more tension and made the structure more interesting.
                                    - Your plot seems pretty unique and interesting.
                                    
                                    
                                    Improvement(s):
                                    - The sentence 'On the run from a demon horde that tore through the dreamscape and destroyed everything she ever loved.' to me, seems like it needs something else. You've used an adverbial opening with the 'On the run from...' and so, after you'd finished the sentence, I was expecting a comma and another bit added onto the end. It's very hard to explain what I mean properly through writing, but I hope you know where I'm coming from? 
                                    - The line "Welcome to the story of Samatha Worthington Day." confused me. I was looking at it for a while, wondering whether Samantha Worthington Day was supposed to be some sort of world or place, since it doesn't really make it clear that she's a character. If she even is? I'm still not sure, in all honesty.
                                    
                                    How much I enjoyed reading: 6/10.
Critique:
                                    
                                    What I Liked:
                                    - This built up a lot of suspense.
                                    - I like how you use one-sentence paragraphs for a greater effect. It built up more tension and made the structure more interesting.
                                    - Your plot seems pretty unique and interesting.
                                    
                                    
                                    Improvement(s):
                                    - The sentence 'On the run from a demon horde that tore through the dreamscape and destroyed everything she ever loved.' to me, seems like it needs something else. You've used an adverbial opening with the 'On the run from...' and so, after you'd finished the sentence, I was expecting a comma and another bit added onto the end. It's very hard to explain what I mean properly through writing, but I hope you know where I'm coming from? 
                                    - The line "Welcome to the story of Samatha Worthington Day." confused me. I was looking at it for a while, wondering whether Samantha Worthington Day was supposed to be some sort of world or place, since it doesn't really make it clear that she's a character. If she even is? I'm still not sure, in all honesty.
                                    
                                    How much I enjoyed reading: 6/10.
Critique:
                                    
                                    What I Liked:
                                    - This built up a lot of suspense.
                                    - I like how you use one-sentence paragraphs for a greater effect. It built up more tension and made the structure more interesting.
                                    - Your plot seems pretty unique and interesting.
                                    
                                    
                                    Improvement(s):
                                    - The sentence 'On the run from a demon horde that tore through the dreamscape and destroyed everything she ever loved.' to me, seems like it needs something else. You've used an adverbial opening with the 'On the run from...' and so, after you'd finished the sentence, I was expecting a comma and another bit added onto the end. It's very hard to explain what I mean properly through writing, but I hope you know where I'm coming from? 
                                    - The line "Welcome to the story of Samatha Worthington Day." confused me. I was looking at it for a while, wondering whether Samantha Worthington Day was supposed to be some sort of world or place, since it doesn't really make it clear that she's a character. If she even is? I'm still not sure, in all honesty.
                                    
                                    How much I enjoyed reading: 6/10.