All the Lights are On

All the Lights are On

454 Reads 18 Votes 50 Part Story
Cr!mson By ACertainCrimsonFox Completed

"If there was one thing that could throw this town on its head, of course it'd be the goddamned McKenzie house." 

The McKenzie house stood tall and proud, its walls worn down by time and weather. It sat with windows boarded and shutters closed, with doors locked and a porch full of holes. It was still for sale, but nobody in their right minds would buy it. First it lost its family, then its charm, and finally its power. For the past two decades, the house stood overlooking Weary Ranch,  cold and dark and desolate. On one cold September morning, the citizens of Weary Ranch woke up to alarming news: all the lights were on in the McKenzie house.

Thanks to @trevor_davis and @apruplebird for beta reading.

Thanks to @hawkeyemilee for editing and beta reading.

#10 on #multipov 11/27/18
#2 on #multipov 12/4/18!

  • burn
  • family
  • house
  • lights
  • multiplepov
  • mystery-thriller
  • police
  • sheriff
  • suspense
  • tfcawards
  • twist
BEXybean BEXybean Nov 28
I also think this could be in its own paragraph. Personal preference :)
Haum95 Haum95 Nov 22
one word:WOW  
                              the story is different I liked that the main character Bri is not some teenager that have this haunted house in their neighborhood because there is so many and it dose not have the mystery yours have 
                              All love Haum
so far, I love the voice of the narrator. You have put in patterns in the speech that makes it distinctive and you can almost get a feel from the town just from the accent you've wrote it in. The set up is very interesting and i'm intrigued for the rest of the story.
serabill serabill Nov 29
His accent comes through without being distracting. Thank you for being one of the few writers who casually pulls this off
BEXybean BEXybean Nov 28
Agreed, a very interesting starter! Gives us a look in the character’s head and almost makes us biased towards the house based on her opinion. Already we are wanting to know what happened at the house!
Not the most immediate beginning but I like that it already gives me a sense of the MC's attitude!