Fly High | LGBT

Fly High | LGBT

2.8K Reads 605 Votes 18 Part Story
I.Kei By Iori_kei Updated 4 days ago

"Came here to die, only to be saved."

One encounter and he's hooked, leaving Adrian constantly thinking about him.
Like an open wound left unattended, his affection slowly festered into an obsession.

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SarahSokol5 SarahSokol5 Dec 15, 2018
So there's a tense switch here. It should be "There was no panic or concern" since the rest is in past tense. I love the introduction of this character. :D Immediately pretty riveting.
SarahSokol5 SarahSokol5 Dec 15, 2018
It generally doesn't look super polished to have bold in a story like this, but it's done more and more these days in online books... However I think the repetition is enough to really drive the point home in the way you're intending without the different formatting.
SarahSokol5 SarahSokol5 Dec 15, 2018
The ending gave me goosebumps. Very excellent first chapter. I love the flow of your writing, it reads in a melancholy but gentle way that really appeals to me.
Lorena_Slowaki Lorena_Slowaki Dec 28, 2018
I think it would have been good to add his feeling here, relieved to do it? Fear when looking at the sky? Or down?
Mara-R-Writing Mara-R-Writing Dec 27, 2018
I don't mean to sound cruel or anything but honestly... this is relateable.
Nakines Nakines Jan 02
For the story, i really like how it’s written as he is still waiting on the day he will make the decision....of course guys don’t hate me it’s just part of the story to have us hooked! 
                              And great job cuz I’m hooked!! 🤭