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Pen Your Pride
Don't wanna Believe

Don't wanna Believe

1.8K Reads 70 Votes 15 Part Story
Andrea By xoxoAndyCxoxo Updated Jul 31, 2011

When Daniel wakes up and discoveres he's been murdered he's angry. Trapped as a ghost with the only person who can see him a 7 year old girl he sets off on the difficult journey of catching his killer. Little does he know it's a lot more personal than first thought. Too late does he find out that when people play with fire they're bound to  get burned.

  • cecilia
  • daniel
  • ghosts
  • lisa
  • mona
TwilightPotter TwilightPotter Jul 24, 2011
Cierra here: My goodness, you're a great writer, love. I loved the action, and how you did exactly as you're supposed to. At times of action, short, brief sentences are supposed to be made. I LOVED it. Don't stop writing. On to the next chappy. 
yrollam yrollam Jun 06, 2011
ooh really interesting how the ghost is telling the story i like it voted 
OhSnapItsMar OhSnapItsMar May 27, 2011
This is really interesting! I was hooked right from the beggining! VOTED! :) 
alissende alissende May 22, 2011
So, good start. Like the opening paragraph, the way you bring the reader straight into the action. A few minor mistakes here and there, nothing serious, but overall it's well written. 
undercovercarrot undercovercarrot Apr 15, 2011
No criticism needed.
                              It's brilliant! KEEP IT UP! 
                              Oh and yeah I agree with @truenotme , I voted when I was only on the first paragraph, it was such a great beginning!
                              So... Commented. Shelved. Voted... and FANNED! :D
everkind everkind Apr 13, 2011
The hook in the start was very good. Makes you want to know more! Voted!