Okay, so, I'll let you in on a 'not-so-secret' secret.
Bryce Atkins is the kind of girl that can make you laugh, or make you cry (never me, of course). She'll either draw you in, or push you away (always the latter, in my case). To most people, she's a riot, nothing but fun...but, get on her bad side and she'll enjoy nothing more than annoying the hell out of you, every day, for the next 7 years.
I got on her bad side years ago-I'm talkin' elementary school. Now we're going into our senior year of highschool, and still at each other's throats. It doesn't help that I live next door to her.
Anyway, this isn't the story about how two idiots went from hating each other, to love or some crap like that. Pffft, like I could ever fall for Bryce, with her messy blonde hair, surfer babe body, fiesty attitude, and brown doe eyes...
*clears throat* Nope, this is about how a stupid hurricane decided to unleash its wrath on our Floridian town and ends up trapping me, my best friends, a very small percetage of our town's population, and Bryce Atkins inside our school to wait out the storm.
A little rain, some heavy winds...I didn't think it'd be that bad...
...until someone started killing people.
Now, I would love nothing more than to tell you this tale myself, but the monster of a woman I described to you earlier? Yeah, she decided she wanted to tell it. I'd argue with her, but...then I might get a colony of fire ants in my underwear drawer again.
Good luck not wanting to choke her out, though. I know it's hard for me to leave her in one piece.
The hot guy in your dreams
A.K.A, Matty Ellington
P.S. Don't tell Bryce I sent you this letter. She'd cut my balls off before they've really had a chance to live. Thanks.
- 1. Crap, Paul Blart was right.
- 2. I'd rather use a cactus as a tampon.
- 3. Your breath smells like sweaty balls.
- 4. OMG, you're a belieber, too?!
- 5. Seven seconds in hell.
- 6. You kiss like a drooling bulldog.
- 7. If you like my friend, you can tell me.
- 8. I'm not a predator!
- 9. A little water's not gonna kill me.
- 10. Adorkable is the new sexy.
- 11. Your most prized possession is your Netflix password.
- 12. Yeah, yeah, you'll beat my 'lady pleaser' to a pulp...