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Pen Your Pride
Water Girl (Original)

Water Girl (Original)

58.8K Reads 691 Votes 25 Part Story
Janelle By JLGrenon Completed

Her dirty blonde hair was soft and light. She had a smile on her face and it was wide and beautiful. She was beautiful. I knew that most guys that stared at her mostly kept slipping to her chest, and when I talked to my friends, I said the same thing. But I couldn't stop looking into her eyes. They were vibrant and blue and when I stared into them, it was like she was really looking at me. Something about her was so... irresistable.

  • avery
  • beautiful
  • blue
  • boyfriend
  • brothers
  • channing
  • distasters
  • hart
  • king
  • love
  • mermaid
  • mysterious
  • ocean
  • secrets
  • stones
  • suspense
  • war
  • water
  • wedding
SoyxMilk SoyxMilk Feb 26, 2014
Wait why does she have no friends, but she's dating a jock ("Channing")
mismatchedsocks99 mismatchedsocks99 Mar 26, 2011
It's great however i don't really understand the beginning but good job!!!
lucky97 lucky97 Mar 24, 2011
Very cute! I would reccomend adding more description. You are rushing things a little. However, it is adorable:)
The15ReasonsWhy The15ReasonsWhy Mar 22, 2011
So awesome! I love how Luke seems so genuine! He is so sweet! I wonder what his friend meant by "ruin that relationship too.." Hmmm.. Well, I guess I gotta go find out huh?
The15ReasonsWhy The15ReasonsWhy Mar 22, 2011
OHHH! I love this so far! 
                              Lol, my friend down there below me told me that I had to read it, and I trust her judgement! This is beyond amazing so far and I seriously can't wait to read more! I wonder why this doesn't have more reads/ comments? Hmmm...  Well, I am off to chapter one! ^.^
JLGrenon JLGrenon Mar 21, 2011
                              Finally some helpful cristism !!! I'm actually surprised that I didn't notice because normally I do. I will go back and change it. By the way, I loved your story Banter and can't wait for more.