Paid Story
Diagnosed with a terminal illness, Peter Katz hires a hitman to take him out. But when a cure is discovered, Peter's got to outrun the assassin to stay alive!
*****
When douchebag lawyer Peter Katz gets diagnosed with terminal cancer, he wants to die painlessly. Still, death seems to elude his every attempt, so he hires an assassin to kill him at a random time and place within the month. Unfortunately for Peter, right after he orders the hit, a treatment is discovered that would add decades to his life. Now Peter Katz has to start running, until the month-long deadline ends. Desperate to survive, he has to deal with tall-dwarves, unionized suicide workers, art terrorism and all the insanity that being alive has to offer. Will he make it to the end of the month? Or will Peter Katz live a life's worth of craziness in however many days he has left?
For what is Comedy, but Tragedy + Time?
[[word count: 100,000-150,000 words]]
- The Beginning, Where Nothing Much Happens Until It Suddenly Does
- Still The Beginning, But A Bit Later
- The Astoundingly Foolish Life Of James Truman-Conelly. Brought to You by Wendy's
- Sarah McGuffin, Administrative Assistant
- Deux Ex Fried Chicken
- Save the Whales, or Something
- Memento Mori
- Life Is Like A Box Of Nuggets
- A.S.W
- Seriously, Clamato is Gross
- The Seven Deaths of Peter Katz
- Gargantuan Jellybeans
- That's About the Last Mayor Character of the Story
- The Six Stages of Grief
- When Dancing, Always Leave Some Room For Kierkegaard
- Animal Idioms and Other Non-Sequitur
- Chekhov's Scorpion
- Mindful Eggducation
- The Pen is Pointier Than The Sword
- #PleaseDontBeLikePeter
- A Mime, A Hipster, And A Frenchman Walk Into A Bar
- Ce N'est Pas Un Titre
- The Middle of The Story, Give or Take a Few Chapters
- Deux Ex Fried Redux
- The Chapter Where Peter Finally Dies, And Stays Dead
- Don't Blame Karma For Your Own Stupidity
- Between A Rock And A Dumb Place: A CYOA Chapter
- Cheerful Pessimism
- Hawaiian Pizza Makes Logical Sense, But Tastes Like Sadness
- Puppies Are The Root Of Anxiety
- WWCD?
- Vignettes From The Good, The Bad, And The Dumbass
- *Insert Corny Title Here*
- Tituba The Butcher's Bizarre Travesy
- Chicanery In The Coal Mine
- No Pugs Were Harmed In The Making Of This Chapter
- We Will Always Have Vegas
- Katzkaesque
- The End, Where Everything Is Wrapped Up With A Neat Little Bow
- Playing With Matches: Now In Technicolor!
- Buyer Beware: Paid Story Notice