Saving Him.

Saving Him.

26.5K Reads 1.2K Votes 34 Part Story
........SeCrEt........... By Music_Is_Me_101 Updated Nov 01, 2014

Shay White.....Could see things other people couldn't. She could hear things other people couldn't. She could feel when someone was about to die, or when someone was about to get hurt. One day she couldn't take it anymore. The voices got stronger, and she thought she was losing her mind. So she was sent to a mental hospital. The seventeen year old girl never stepped out of the mental hospital. Until the day...The day she could go back home, go back to school, go on with her life. But all the voices, and shadows were gone. Until she met Lane Collins. The voices were back telling her to save him. Save him from danger. The danger of him going to prom. But I mean what could happen at prom? But will Shay listen to the voices or will she do what everyone's telling her to do....To just ignore them? Or will she listen to the voices before it's too late?

Cool AWESOMe start to your story can't wait to read the rest
azk610 azk610 Jul 10, 2014
the story is really interesting! the way you described the voices made them seem so real. good job, keep it up!
TrisKRedlin TrisKRedlin Jun 28, 2014
This was interesting however you do repeat words a couple times when they don't need to be. Other than that it was really good!
darknessembraced darknessembraced Jun 21, 2014
this is a great start. I really love these semi dark tales with a touch of the supernatural. Shy is a very interesting character and I can't wait to read more.
glamourlex glamourlex Jun 19, 2014
interesting story! hope to read more soon! make sure you watch the little grammatical errors you make but you're doing great! (:
iamaballerina iamaballerina Jun 18, 2014
I like the storyline, it's different, but you have to remember show don't tell. When you are describing the girl and the boy you just lay a number of words one next to the other like you are cataloging them, try to show how her dark hair fell in front of her eyes or something like that.