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Selected

Selected

240K Reads 12.3K Votes 32 Part Story
JennKay By JennKayy16 Completed

Perfection. That's what we strive for. It's what everybody strives for. We must be perfect. Selection will help us become perfect.
In a world where the government selects people to mate based on their genotypes and DNA alleles. Emmary Eaton, birthing number 45729 is ripped from her home and everything she knows to be dropped in a society she is more than unfamiliar with to be with her assigned mate. Soon she discovers that there is more to her new family and Selection than meets the eye. Secrets start to unfold as well as ulterior motives and innocent Emmary Eaton is unwillingly thrust into the middle of it all.

cmuscaro cmuscaro Jan 07
Another run on sentence: "I was hoping he'd be a girl. Unfortunately, he turned out to be a boy, and so did Elex..."
cmuscaro cmuscaro Jan 07
I would separate the first sentence into two. "He simply shrugged. Teyland was back in a matter of seconds."
                              
                              Also I would put a comma after go.
cmuscaro cmuscaro Jan 07
I would take out the "now." I think it reads better without it.
cmuscaro cmuscaro Jan 07
Describing Elex so outright isn't very exciting. I would incorporate his age differently, and not include that he's "completely adorable." Just personal preference
abusives abusives Jan 30, 2016
this is why i never trust those thingies when they say "put your finger on here to scan" like yEAH HOW ABOUT NO
MiniMeXD MiniMeXD May 11, 2016
Either the needle just went rlly deep into her thumb or she is just rlly weak to pain bc that should only be a pinprick