Never Died

Never Died

380 Reads 82 Votes 22 Part Story
Gabrielle Paul By NgoziGardenia Completed

Cover by @StormyTheZebra
(Completed)

Mazelina lived peacefully, married to the village blacksmith. 
Cooking, cleaning, the classic doting wife.
They were happy.

Everything changed when the knights came to the village. 
She died.
Only to wake up alive, and alone.

  • action
  • adventure
  • medieval
  • mythology
  • romance
I think the word soon is not needed here. I found it also in a sentence above few lines.
Wow. Crazy dramatic haha. I have to be honest that this reads a tad unrealistic. The dialogue is just a bit too stilted and formal. Try reading the dialogue out loud. Does it sound natural?
I think you should have used looking around instead of looking about. Looking about means looking at
You might want to put "his expression unreadable" to improve flow. Not necessary, but might sound better.
Alright, will do. Sometimes my paragraphs are a little short, because I worry about them being too long
You can actually combine this sentence with the one above to make one longer paragraph.