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The Angel

The Angel

3.8K Reads 83 Votes 10 Part Story
Cassandra Dont-you-wish-you-knew By Antebellum_Lady Updated Apr 04, 2011

I felt cold all over, I couldn't believe this was happening. I turned towards Hunter, begging him to understand with my eyes; trying to make him realize I had no choice, before I jumped.....

Angel was just your average Angel in heaven, or so you think. Something happened to her that no one expected, she was part of a prophesy. her and Hunter, a cynical, cold and cruel soon to be king of the vampires. she fell deeply in love with him, and he fell hard and fast for her, but then he made a mistake, a mistake that caused him to loose Angel for what felt like eternity. What he did not know, however, is that she had no choice but to leave him. she was taken to be prepare for her destiny, a dangerous and   terrifying density. then, she is forced to make a choice, one she knows that will change the whole world.....will she choose right? wrong? Will fate give them a second chance?  This is not your normal Vampire story, no, this is Angels story, Her decision could change our world.........

Hadesgray Hadesgray Apr 05, 2011
its a good idea and a bright start but its confusing! you need to explain whats going on!
                              youve got great potential, use it to your advantage!
                              thanks for the read,
Antebellum_Lady Antebellum_Lady Apr 04, 2011
thnks guys! :D and soz if its all clumped, im gonna fix that, its just the stupid way word converst it for wattpad or whatever:)
MagicPineapples MagicPineapples Apr 04, 2011
Good start. You could maybe split up that last paragraph. Intriguing though :)
Antebellum_Lady Antebellum_Lady Mar 24, 2011
@jojoanne Thanks also:) I love it when people help me improve! Thanks a lot:D By the way, both you and equinelover909 books are AWESOME!
- - Mar 24, 2011
I like the quotes at the start! Really interesting:) 
                              you may want to enter the speech parts so that it starts a new paragraph and the paragraphs will not be so lumped together. Just a suggestion:) 
                              keep it up! :D
- - Mar 15, 2011
love it, but i gotta agree with DainaHangengDai though. it would be less confusong if you broke it down into paragraphs.but still, it's nice. going onto the next chap. :D
                              - kav -