He's My Duet and... Not My Boyfriend?

He's My Duet and... Not My Boyfriend?

7.7K Reads 90 Votes 15 Part Story
loveyourself By loveyourself Updated May 06, 2013

Sophia is a girl who doesn't like singing nor dancing. She performs well in academic but doesn't really participate until she was forced to pair up and have a duet with one of the famous hot guys in school, Daniel. Sophia made sure she would have time to practice with Daniel but all Daniel do is ask her to go to another place with him until one day he brought Sophia home and tells her little sister that Sophia was her girlfriend. What would Daniel say if her little sister tells her firend that Sophia was her girlfriend? What would he do if he falls for her? As for Sophia... What would she do if she falss for him? Would she still want to go Saturday practice with him or let him fail in Music class (which is the only subject Daniel wants to participate in) ?

trishthewriter trishthewriter Mar 31, 2011
The first thing that jumped out at me here was the jumping between past and present tense, and it started right away. I am walking is present tense. I screamed is past tense. You need to pick one and stick with it so readers aren't confused.