The Purple Children (Book 1 of the Purple Chronicles)

25 Part Story 208K Reads 3.3K Votes
Aldrine Fualo By AldrineFualo Completed
Lavander knows she's not normal; she can move things with her mind, she can make a pencil her weapon, she can even turn a person inside out if they tempt her, but in spite all of that, she still manages to live a normal life until a day changed her life. Two men on tuxedos found her and tried to kill her, she manages to escape but she knows there are more out there. At 18, she is given a task, a task to bring the Purple Children together; a group of ten extraordinary teens who are the sons and daughters of the elder knights and bring them back to their mother planet. It might be simple but a prophecy is foretold, five of the Purple Children will die and the other five will return home to rule their planet. Every second reeks of danger. Can she ever be safe?
    [Book 2 (Coated with Valour) now on progress)]
It seems you have tried really hard to use strong, descriptive language and in the process lost your voice.  It is all stiff and awkward. Trust your own voice.
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Interesting style. Makes me curious to find out how it works with urgency and things like that. I like this chapter.
One part says (which I surprisingly I returned) too many I's :)
A advice : Don't put everything together like that is makes EVERYTHING look gloomy and dull
Barely had a chance to start reading your book. I am glad I started because I am hooked! It's very good and am starting to love it :)