Dear Alice [Wattys2018]

Dear Alice [Wattys2018]

1.1K Reads 159 Votes 22 Part Story
Paige Anne Lukas By pa_lukas Updated Dec 07, 2018

[Wattys Short-List] In a world where all pregnancies must be approved before conception, the lives of those "unapproved" children is a difficult one. Invalid Delaney Shepherd's life is changed forever when her and her brother's caretaker dies suddenly. Alone, and unwanted in society the Shepherd twins now have to overcome adversity and try to survive in a place they are not welcome.

  • action
  • adventure
  • alternateuniverse
  • baby
  • dreamyawards
  • dystopian
  • family
  • lgbt
  • love
  • sciencefiction
  • siblings
  • teenfiction
  • wattpride
  • wattys2018
  • youngadult
DarkRevelryQueen DarkRevelryQueen Dec 08, 2018
"appeal" might not have been the word you wanted there in the description of Finn. It has a connotation to it.
                              
                              That sentence that begins "I never really understood..." could use a little work.
DarkRevelryQueen DarkRevelryQueen Dec 08, 2018
Question mark after "apart"
                              
                              Comma before "Lilian", though I'm not positive on the ruling there. Look it up if you want.
DarkRevelryQueen DarkRevelryQueen Dec 08, 2018
Is there a reason "church" is capitalized? It's kind of like a title, so "The Church of God" would be capitalized but not just "church." Hopefully that makes sense.
pa_lukas pa_lukas Dec 08, 2018
I think I meant to have a comma. 
                              “Of what, safety?” 
                              As in that’s a luxury in their eyes
DarkRevelryQueen DarkRevelryQueen Dec 08, 2018
.......You might have meant something else here. Give it another glance.
IzYoneyama IzYoneyama Nov 24, 2018
This is so good! Just one thing : you sometimes miss out the full stop on the end of lines. Apart from that, it's perfect and I love it so far! <3