Envoy

Envoy

222 Reads 23 Votes 6 Part Story
Esther Scherpenisse By estherscherpenisse Updated Sep 01

The forever war between Upper and Base is over. But that doesn't mean there is peace.

Roslin has worked herself to the bone to join an exchange program that will see her as one of the first Uppers to visit Base in centuries. Her one burning desire: to escape the tyrant that is her father. Living among her former enemies seems safer than living with him.

In her determination to keep out of her father's hands, she vows to do whatever it takes to stay. Even if that means alienating Sennai, the only friend she's ever had. Even if it means renouncing everything in her that is Upper. Even if she must endure the whims of Crayton, her host family's son.

But when she discovers the darker side of Base society, she is forced to choose: turn a blind eye out of fear of her father; or find a way to help.

After all, it's only world peace that hangs in the balance.

  • adversary
  • danger
  • enemies
  • exchange
  • femaleprotagonist
  • future
  • futuristic
  • isolation
  • loyalty
  • peace
  • revolution
  • sciencefiction
  • sf
  • war
  • wattys2018
  • ya
  • youngadult
There should be an apostrophe in "Sennais" making it "Sennai's." 
                              
                              Personally, I think "flinch away" sounds better than "flinch back," but that's more my opinion.
Unless I'm reading the sentence differently than I'm supposed to, I think there should no comma between "breathing" and "through."
guldwyrk guldwyrk Aug 01
I don't know if I have mentioned this yet, but I really like the tone of the narration so far. The MC makes me smile
I really like this bit of narrative. It tells us a lot about Roslin as a person and how she was raised.
Sara91Helal Sara91Helal Jul 13
 #ClumsyCritiques 
                              
                              I think starting the chapter with something like this would be more interesting than just "Roz"?
guldwyrk guldwyrk Jul 27
this is intriguing, so they really are flying to a different planet