Butcher Bert & the Monkey Mafia

Butcher Bert & the Monkey Mafia

1.6K Reads 318 Votes 48 Part Story
MC Hawkins By mchawkinsauthor Updated Sep 21, 2018


There is no greengrocer in Springvale. No bakery or fish shop. There isn't even a milk bar. One-by-one they've been put out of business by supermarket mogul Sal Monella and his farting monkeys.

There's only one shop left: Bert's Quality Meats. But Bert the Butcher isn't going to sell without a fight.

So begins an epic retail war: between Sal and the monkeys, and Bert and his resourceful Viet cleanup kid Kim. Sal will stop at nothing, even if it means seducing Kim's prune-eating school teacher, in a steamy scene that will have you reaching for the nearest bucket.

Springvale will never be the same again.

BUTCHER BERT AND THE MONKEY MAFIA is a middle grade comedy for fans of David Walliams, Andy Griffiths, and standing rib roasts. It's The Godfather meets The Twits, South Park meets Kane and Abel. It has approximately 7000 farts in it.

  • action
  • adventure
  • australia
  • badboy
  • comedy
  • crime
  • farts
  • featured
  • friendship
  • funny
  • girl
  • godfather
  • gross
  • hilarious
  • humor
  • italian
  • love
  • mafia
  • melbourne
  • monkeys
  • romance
  • southpark
  • teen
  • thriller
  • vietnam
GamerWorld8 GamerWorld8 Mar 09, 2018
Only u matt, can make something (the menu) so gross so funny! Love it!💓 😻😂🙈
LilyAnnF LilyAnnF Jun 03, 2018
Oh, dear, it really made me laugh. Sal Monella. I love him already
Gizmosghost Gizmosghost Jul 05, 2018
Oh how I've missed the humor and the tiniest bit of snark! 😉😘