Butcher Bert & the Monkey Mafia

Butcher Bert & the Monkey Mafia

2.3K Reads 425 Votes 50 Part Story
MC Hawkins By mchawkinsauthor Completed


There is no greengrocer in Springvale. No bakery or fish shop. There isn't even a milk bar. One-by-one they've been put out of business by supermarket mobster Sal Monella and his farting monkeys.

There's only one shop left: Bert's Quality Meats. But Bert the Butcher isn't going to sell without a fight.

So begins an apocalyptic retail war: between Sal and the monkeys, and Bert and his resourceful Viet cleanup kid Kim. Sal will stop at nothing, even if it means seducing Kim's prune-eating school teacher, in a steamy scene that will have you reaching for the nearest bucket.

Springvale will never be the same again.

BUTCHER BERT AND THE MONKEY MAFIA is a middle grade comedy for fans of David Walliams, Andy Griffiths, and standing rib roasts. It's The Godfather meets The Twits, only juicier, and more tender.