"Yeah. Saint Cole the Profane, in the flesh."
He laughs a bit. I don't mind him laughing at me. Just as long as he's paying attention to me.
"Good name for yourself."
"Ha." He's coming a little bit closer to me and it's kinda freaking me out. He's still smiling, but he's got a glint of something else in his eyes.
"W-wha..." I manage to say, before my back comes in contact with the wall.
"I love your eyes," he says, staring at me like I'm the most important thing in the world. The same way he stares at his dog. I'm jealous, once again.
His hands are on both sides of the wall, pinning me to it like I'm some fucking poster. I lick my lips a bit and look up. I can feel his hot breath on my forehead.
Some people dream of being astronauts. Others aspire to be bakers or movie stars. After graduation, Cole wants to become a professional homeless man.
Does that sound crazy? Strange? Mentally deranged?
Regardless of the circumstance, sixteen-year-old Cole is sarcastic, apathetic, pessimistic, and just, well... a lump of coal. The complete opposite of one Ashton Matthews.
Cole may only have an eye on one boy, but attraction is a funny thing. And it's only made all the more powerful and illogical when you talk to Santa on a regular basis, wear gloves to avoid physical contact, and believe that the next major uprising will be the fruit AIDS communist revolution.
- 1: Welcome To "Fuck You" World
- 2: The Cole That Started The Fire
- 3: Ashton's Dirty Little Secret
- 4: Spaghetti Orgasms And Jesus On Your Face
- 5: Shelley And The Banshees, Playing Live At Your Local Racist Pizza Joint
- 6: Smells Like Teen Spirit... And Pedophilia
- 7: The Notorious Vincent Pierce
- 8: Field Trip
- 9: Thinspiration Tactics And Fake Tits
- 10: Dinner In The Lion's Den
- 11: God Gave Me This Smoking Jacket...
- 12: Guerilla Warfare Contains Sex As Torture
- 13: Covered In Hope And Gasoline
- 14: Covered In Hope, Syrup, And Whipped Cream
- 15: You Hoebag, Jesus
- 16: Lips Like Lace
- 17: I'll See You Beg Like A Dog
- 18: Jesus Loves Me
- 19: "That's Not Kool-Aid," A Memoir By Dr. Bob
- 20: Mr. Rogers Is A Peeping Tom
- 21: My Tamagotchi Is Possessed
- 22: Mr. Chia Wants To Help You With Your Sexual Frustrations
- 23: Metaphorical Salami, Covered In Mayo And Dill Pickles
- 24: Proverbial Fatherfucking Monkey Sperm
- 25: Smells Like Christmas
- 26: Fish-On-A-Dick
- 27: Freudian Slip
- 28: I Loved You In "Blow"
- 29: Rapture Position
- 30: The Devil's Getting Married