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Death kiss

Death kiss

810 Reads 21 Votes 3 Part Story
Sophia Andre 1 By SophiaAndre1 Updated Mar 09, 2011

Chloe is a normal teenage girl, or so she thought. It was only her ex-boyfriend Owen gave her a brutal kiss that will change Chloe's life forever.
Now they're on the run as a sinister organisation - "The Hospital" are after her, and Owen to kill alll vampires

ANGELJay ANGELJay Mar 04, 2011
Very good, but too many bad words you dont need them your story is strong enought are u going to and to it?? the opening paragraph got me into it. will u add more keep me posted. when u have time check out some of my work 1100707 thinks!!!
SophiaAndre1 SophiaAndre1 Feb 26, 2011
                              Hey thanks for the advice. I won't use any swear words if you don't think people will like me using them,
                              Sophia Andre 1
shopaholic889 shopaholic889 Feb 25, 2011
I liked the begining.  It was up-beat which is really good!  I'm going to read on.  If you want some advice, I would tone down a little on the sware words.  You can get your point across with using so many of them.
SophiaAndre1 SophiaAndre1 Feb 25, 2011
                              Okay, good advice. I shall use it. I'm not sure how to slow my story down. Maybe i'll explain whats going on threw the story a bit more. I will not use much more swear words. I'm sure it does put people off. 
                              Thanks, you're really good at giving advice. 
                              Sophia Andre 1
Emzeey1234xxx Emzeey1234xxx Feb 23, 2011
love the story <3 upload soon pleaase :D Really wanna know about everything 
                              and hey - i joined like you said x
SophiaAndre1 SophiaAndre1 Feb 23, 2011
Hey everyone sorry it took so long to upload! 
                              here's the rest. Starting chapter 2 hope you enjoy it!