In A Starship's Wake

In A Starship's Wake

6.1K Reads 1.3K Votes 49 Part Story
Stephen Schamber By HunterMountain Updated Jan 14

Several years ago Joseph and Tyrone became business partners, pooling their money to buy a light interstellar transport ship. Most of their business is taking cargo to and from the poorly-policed unaffiliated planets. They almost never make the same run twice, and if there's one thing they've learned, it's that owner-operators get all the most interesting work.

  • action
  • adventure
  • colonization
  • exploration
  • future
  • planets
  • sciencefiction
  • scifi
  • space
  • spacetravel
  • starship
  • trade
CJ_Cook CJ_Cook Jun 19, 2018
"the food your eating?" second person adjective or contraction, or even "you are", for emphasis.
knotanumber knotanumber Dec 20, 2018
Save your narrative breath. The reader already figured out what was going on because you gave them all the clues already. So don't slow the story down to explain what they already know.
knotanumber knotanumber Dec 20, 2018
You don't need all these action and emotion cues. You've done a good job with the dialogue here. Let that carry the narrative and only add cues where absolutely needed.
knotanumber knotanumber Dec 20, 2018
Not bad, but could us a little flavor (as in what the food actually tasted like)