Wind ✔️

Wind ✔️

22.9K Reads 2.4K Votes 30 Part Story
Amy Marie Z By AmyMarieZ Completed

•• Wattys 2018 Winner •• Wattpad Featured Story ••

One day, a wind blew into the town of Millstone and didn't stop. Slowly people moved away. It was like the town was trying to clear itself out, as though it was preparing for something sinister.

When a strange man moves into town and purchases the old abandoned farmhouse on Clay Road, Harper suspects he might be up to something. As Harper and his best friend Jeremey investigate the man's activities, they end up discovering some frightening truths about their town, the newcomer, and the wind itself. But getting close to the truth comes with risks, and they soon find themselves in danger not only of the stranger on Clay Road, but also the dark forces within Millstone that have remained silent for too long.

•• AWARDS ••

🥈2nd Place in Horror, The Chaos Awards (April 2018)
🥉3rd Place in Horror/Paranormal, The Literally Lit Literature Awards (May 2018)
🥈2nd Place in Horror/Paranormal, The Blossom Awards (June 2018)
🥈2nd Place in Horror/Paranormal, The Psychedelic Awards (July 2018)
🥉3rd place overall and best grammar, The X-Factor Awards Season 2 (August 2018)
🥇1st place in Horror, The Hidden Gem Awards 2018 (September 2018)
🏆 The Wattys 2018 Storysmiths Winner (October 2018)

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  • ewa2018
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  • paranormal
  • phenomenon
  • psychological
  • psychologicalthriller
  • smalltown
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  • theopulentawards
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  • wattys2018
 #RebelBC I think the comma in the last sentence is unnecessary.
Zarator8 Zarator8 Oct 24
I would consider adding a comma after "mine", as I felt a bit out of breath by the end of the sentence (fitting, given the title of the novel^^). Then again, I've been told now and again that I'm a bit too generous in my usage of commas, so feel free to disregard this suggestion.
                              I’ve noticed so far that a lot of the MC actions are introduced as ‘I headed’ or ‘I waved’. Maybe you could mess around with the syntax to give it more diversity?
Zarator8 Zarator8 Oct 24
                              Pretty strong start, overall. It reaches out to the reader directly, but in a way which feels less informal and more... ominous, really. The choice of metaphors is remarkable too, and conveys a sense of faint dread which just begs for more.
 #RebelBC I'm just realizing that I've commented on this chapter before. 
                              Looks like you've edited it, so maybe this will still be useful.
                              I’m enjoying how this gives us a subtle insight into your character and their personality.