Year of the Snake: A Short Story

I'll fall in love again.
I'll save money. I'll eat better. I'll learn how to cook. I'll spend all my money on food. I'll stand between rivers and islands of cunning labels at Fred Meyer because I still can't afford food from the co-op, even with my employee discount. I'll stare at the good food, which looks bad, and I'll stare at the bad food, which looks good, and I'll cry, "I need a cigarette."
I'll quit smoking today. I'll leave all my smoking friends behind. Inspired by my resolve, they will quit, too. All but one of them. When she gets lung cancer, nobody will be around to say, "I told you so."
I'll smoke more weed. I'll bic everyone's lighters and label them with their owners' names and buy pickles from Costco, give the pickles to the homeless, and fill the jar with lighters. I'll post a picture on Reddit and get absolutely no attention because it's really not that clever.
I won't do that again.
I'll stop smoking weed when someone says something.
I'll worry I'm not doing enough.
I'll stop living with others...