Devoured Destiny (Completed, but being rewritten and edited.)

43 Part Story 147K Reads 1.3K Votes
Chae Winacott By ChaeWinacott Completed
He's one pissed off creature. 
    "What did you do that for?! I could have died! YOUR NUTS!"
     "But unfortunately, you are not dead. Why is that; my little gem?...You look like a human, and you smell like a human..." He brings his nose right up to my ear. My hairs are up on end, sending unwanted shivers throughout my body. 
    "And you certainly feel like a human girl..." Jones trails off while he torments me by caressing the side of my cheek with his long finger. 
    The only thing I can do is remain still. 
    The boy on the Willow had warned me not to take off without him. I should have listened. Curiosity. What a bitch. 
    A story of stubborn love, reincarnation, and unseen majestical lands - OH, and vampires. Ariel is a teenage girl, who is always over analyzing life. She is told that she is part of a different species of vampires. She finds herself quickly questioning her sanity quite often after she is brought into this unknown land, meets two mysterious, handsome men - and is told that she and one of them - are the key to saving thousands of souls. 
      She finds herself giving in, and she starts her journey. What she doesn't realize is that, this is not the first time she has begun this journey; 
      Nor is it the second.
    A love triangle like no other - and an insane new world, with past lives that she cannot recall continuously flashing through her mind - follow Ariel on her journey to discovery.
It should have a question mark after mind since it seems to be as if she's asking a question to herself.
Very well done. I did pick up a typho though on page three you say thay have souls rather than they have souls. The story is well written, its interesting and enjoyable. :)
Great start, really descriptive and well written, it drew me in right away (:
I love how you write, it's builds up emotion, its decriptive. I love it.
I Liked it a lot.
                                    Your Writing skills are fantastic(:
                                    Keep up the good work :)
This was absolutely amazing writing, captivating, interesting ! I would continue reading after the first part but there are other stories on my discussion to read ! I will continue reading as soon as I have the time ! Keup up the great work :)