The Billion Dollar Life

The Billion Dollar Life

19 Part Story 23.3K Reads 351 Votes
yellow_marshmellow By yellow_marshmellow Updated Oct 22, 2013

Melissa had a loving mother, she was all she had for a family and friends  but what happens when her mothers dies? Not only that but she has to go and live with her father,  the billionaire that she has never met. what about the boy next door with the mesmerizing blue eyes, will she fall for him? Or is she better off with another person (maybe someone really close to her). What will happen when she discovers the largest deepest secret that everyone has been hiding from her. And will she agree to the ultimate sacrifice that can take her life away?
    
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You need to fix the small punctuation and the words that you've spelled incorrectly. It matters more than you'd think.....
KatieeSpoon KatieeSpoon Aug 01, 2012 01:53PM
A few typos and errors, but other then that it was quite good! :3 I will read on as soon as possible :3 
                                    ~Katiee
GreysonDrew GreysonDrew Aug 01, 2012 12:02PM
Spelling/Word problem!
                                    I believe you meant 'Custody', not 'Custardy'.
                                    And you should've used 'disgusted', not 'discussed'.
                                    
                                    Again, punctuation.
@GreysonDrew Yea ur right but I didn't have an editor for the first few chapter but now I have one.
GreysonDrew GreysonDrew Aug 01, 2012 11:05AM
There seems too be a little problem with punctuation. And instead of 'peeked', you put 'pecked'. Just sayin'.
                                    Otherwise, not bad.